Mike Pantzer & Nathan Wallace

Thu, Aug 15, 2019
Fri, Aug 16, 2019
Sat, Aug 17, 2019

Mike Pantzer & Nathan Wallace

Yeah, who the hell is he? I mean, me. This quivering pile of man-flesh named Mike. Who am I
I’m a loser, that’s who I am. Proud and loud. The only thing I don’t lose is weight. Jobs? Credit cards? Self-respect? All lost. But my dude-gut will always be here, like a chubby white koala clinging all flabby to my neck, bouncing happily along there with me, every day of my life. Ah, the Loser. That’s me. And the logical thing for a loser to do? Become a comedian. That’s like doubling down on loserdom. Can’t keep a regular job? Go into a job that doesn’t pay!
So welcome to my world. Welcome to loserville. It’s really not that bad. At least there are laughs in this section of the dungeon.

Look, I know everyone wants to be winner. It’s shoved up our padoodles from the time we’re born. “Be a winner! Get out there, shove other toddlers out of the way, somebody just busted the pinata, jump in the pile and drag out more than your share, kid!” But, come on, let’s be realistic. The majority of us, the real people, we’re losers. We don’t get the good candy from the pinata. Hell, we’re more likely to get whacked in the face by the crazy-ass kid swinging the stick like he’s batting clean-up for the Yankees, while his Dad screams at him to stop flapping around like a girl! And that’s okay. It’s okay to get cracked in the temple by life’s pinata stick. If you just sit back and relax, it really doesn’t hurt that bad. And really, when it gets right down to it, being a loser is more fun than being a winner. It’s less pressure, and you can eat Cheetos on your pizza at 2 a.m., and no one is disappointed in you..